Organizing Refusals and/or Negative Letters To Peers or Subordinates

This Outline/Approach Works For:
a) Simply telling people "no", as in "you did not get the job" or "you did not make the team" or "you will not pass this class" or "we ain't dating no mo'". 

b) With some changes, telling customers you cannot fulfill their order, etc.

The difference between the two is that with:

a) You want to reader to go away as quietly as possible and to leave you alone

b) You want the reader to continue doing business with you.

General Hints:
Keep in mind that, generally, people know when either they have screwed-up or circumstances have caused the negative to occur;  therefore, you usually want to avoid hurting their ego or over-emphasizing the negative even or especially when the negative is the reader's own fault.  Remember that cornered dogs bite (and you are hoping to avoid being bit) so protect the reader's ego even when you are angry at the reader or it really is their fault;  this is the usually the quickest route toward your own goal.

Therefore: use much, much, much You-Attitude:

Avoid using "I" or "We" and "You". 

Only use "we" if it includes the reader and is positive: We can work this out. 

Only use "I" and "You" if the phrase is positive and protects the reader:  I am sorry. I want to help you. You did your best.

This is one of the few places in your writing to favor the passive voice (the passive voice generally hides the subject of the sentence and begins with the object.)

Active Voice: You are delinquent in your payment.  I am pissed off at you.  You will suffer if you do not pay up.

Passive Voice: The delinquent payment is due.  Anger is being experienced.  Suffering may occur if the funds are not paid.

Hide the Negative: Bury the bad news in a paragraph so that they cannot see it when they skim the letter; this will make them read the letter before finding the bad news.

Empathy: at some point in this letter, it is often wise to carefully express understanding for the reader's frustration etc.

Generally, order paragraphs and/or content in the following order:

1) Reason:  When you have a good reason that the reader will find easy to understand and accept, give the reason before the refusal or bad news. 

2) Refusal/Negative News: Avoid over-emphasizing a refusal, but still make it crystal clear.

      - De-emphasizing a refusal may make the refusal unclear or confusing.

      - Don’t put a refusal in its own paragraph because it is too visible; try to tie a refusal into the center of the second paragraph.

 3) Alternatives/Compromises: Present alternatives or compromises, if available.

    - This is the place where you can help avoid psychological reactance by giving the reader choices and/or something to do, a task to soak up the negative feelings and offer some hope.

    - When possible, be extremely specific:  if, for example, you are referring someone you've fired or a customer elsewhere, give him specific names, phone numbers, email addresses etc.

    - Attempt to gently persuade the reader away from negative, destructie choices and toward positive ones.

    - If at all possible, explain the upsides of this admittedly bad news.

 4) Positive Ending: End with a positive, forward-looking ending.

    - The positive message should be directly related to the topic and not generic.

    - Be sincere and empathetic; don't tell someone to "have a nice day" if you've just blown a whole in their lives.

    - Ideally, this ending looks forward to the solution to the problem: leave the reader feeling hopeful, not depressed.

Example: Johnny Can't Read