Clarity Through Simplicity

 

 

Inexperienced writers often make sentences overly complex and wordy by using needless "to be" verbs and prepositional phrases.

"To be" verbs mark existence and include words like is, was, am, were, will be, seems to be, have been etc.  These are sometimes necessary words, but often existence is implied:  if I see you talking to me, you don't need to tell me you exist.

Prepositions are words or phrases that show relationships between two or more things, like: to, from, of, under, on, next to, above etc. As they say in 6th grade: a preposition is anything an airplane can do to a cloud. 

Experienced writers eliminate unnecessary to be verbs and prepositions, simplify the grammar accordingly and make the sentence center on a simple, active verb.  The clearest English sentences use this simple structure to make the sentence's action clear:

 

Subject  --- Verb.     Something did something. 

 

Or:   Subject --- Verb --- Object.  Something did something to something else.

 

As a general rule, the closer a sentence sticks to that structure, the easier it is to understand.

 

So, to drastically improve your writing, regardless of the genre or purpose, follow these guidelines when revising:

 

STEP ONE: Eliminate All Needless "to be" Verbs

 

1) Identify and circle all "to be" verbs.

 

2) Attempt to cross out and eliminate these "to be" words and phrases from the sentence and replace them with a simple, clearer, non-compound action-verb.  To figure out what that action verb should be:

 

a) Ask yourself "What is the central action in this sentence?" or "Who's kicking who?" What is being done and who's doing it to who?" (actually "to whom" is the snotty way).  Who did what to whom? or What did what to what?

 

EX: Needlessly complex:  This sentence is in need of an active verb.

 

b) See if that action is implied in another, non action word like a noun or adjective. If so, turn that noun or adjective into a verb.

 

EX: Simplified: This sentence needs an active verb.

 

c) If no existing noun or adjective exists, add the verb from scratch; make the implicit action in the   sentence explicit.

 

(note, not all "to be" verbs can be eliminated)

 

 

 

 

STEP TWO: Eliminate All Needless Prepositions

1) Identify and circle the prepositions.

 

2) The next step is to get rid of as many of them as you can.  Or, for example, I  can revise that previous sentence to: "Next, omit them"

 

Prepositions not eliminated by creating active verbs can often be eliminated by using possessive nouns, such as

    EX: Needlessly complex: "The car of my father"

    EX: Simplified: "My father's car." 

 

    EX: Needlessly complex: "The job that I had this summer"

    EX: Simplified: "My summer job."

 

 

EXAMPLES:

 

1) Here is an example of the rule of justice in argumentation.

 

2) One of the lessons that I learned from my job at the Forest Service during the last summer was that I needed to learn how to make priorities and act upon them.

 

3) I am excited about the ability to become involved in many different facets of you organization in order to expand its thirty-one years of consecutive growth.  Today, genuine customer service is essential to the success of every business.  As a part of a team working for Idaho Afloat, which is a whitewater adventure company that I was manager of, I was responsible for the safety and satisfaction of up twenty four guests per trip. …

 

4) In college I have learned the importance of customer service in different work environments. Through rigorous practices and games with my teammates while playing collegiate and high school basketball, I know that I am a competitive person. I have a keen understanding that the main ingredient in the recipe for success is hard work.  I am cautious but confident in my work, yet I am not afraid to ask questions or to seek help when needed. … I will be pleased to meet for an interview at your convenience.

 

 

 

University of Idaho Faculty, Staff, and Students,

The State Board of Education will meet on the University of Idaho campus tomorrow, Wednesday, April 22, for consideration of President for the University of Idaho. The meeting will be followed immediately by a press conference.


Please join the university community statewide in witnessing this momentous event. The public announcement will take place at 10:30 a.m. PT in the University Auditorium in the Administration Building.

If you are unable to attend, you may view the announcement online by Wednesday afternoon at
www.uidaho.edu

 

 

 

BONUS: Eliminate "Blah blah blah is that..."

 

You can also clarify by simply eliminating so-called "Blah blah blah is that..." phrases; simply cross out "is that" and start the sentence with whatever followed it:

 

What I would like to say is that you stink.

 

My opinion is that on this point we have only two options....

 

The fact of the matter is that the material of this course is drawn from the findings of Dr. Boogermeister....