A Weekend of Chili, Chocolate, and Beer

By Becky Latka

As I stepped out of my car into the darkness, I could already hear the laughter.  The windows of the red barn shone brightly against the dark October sky, and I could see the animated silhouettes of women sharing stories, arms in motion, behind the curtains. The drizzling rain enhanced the pungent, woodsy smell of fallen leaves. Grabbing my sleeping bag, pillow, and cooler, I slammed the door and headed toward “the Barn.”  At the sound of my car door, women poured out of the Barn, full of hugs and greetings as though I was a long-lost friend! No one would’ve guessed that I was working with most of these women just a few hours earlier. Even though the names and faces were the same, this wasn’t work; this was our annual camping weekend known as “PMS in the Woods.” 

This annual trek to the woods was started by a small group of women that worked in the Planning Division of the U.S. Army Corps of Engineers in Omaha, Nebraska. Trying to de-stress after a lengthy project that required a lot of overtime, they rounded up some women co-workers and planned a weekend trip to a cabin along the Platte River in Nebraska. The weekend was a huge success, and it became an annual event. A male co-worker dubbed the all-girl weekend excursion as “PMS in the Woods” and the name stuck. From this small group of eight women, the group grew and moved to the “Red Barn,” with a comfortable sleeping capacity of twenty people, although at least one year we exceeded that and had several women sleeping on the floor.  

The women of Planning are academically diverse, and include biologists, archeologists, engineers, community planners, secretaries, and economists, ranging from entry-level employees to project planners. The weekend has a “leveling” effect, encouraging companionship among women of different backgrounds. After moving to the larger location, we had plenty of space, so the wives of Planning men were also invited, adding another dimension and more diversity into the mix.  

Over the years, many women have left Planning for other jobs. But as we say, “once a Planner, always a Planner,” and they are all still welcome to return to the Big Red Barn on the third weekend of October. Over the years, we’ve had folks from Seattle to St. Louis fly back to Nebraska to reunite with old friends for this weekend.  

The men of Planning couldn’t understand a weekend get-together that didn’t involve an “activity.” Their all-guy trips revolved around fishing or golf. But when the Planning women get together, we don’t plan around an activity; we’re just there to share. We share stories, songs, food, drink, sorrows, joys, and most importantly, friendship. It’s often a weekend of discovery about ourselves, as well.   

It’s a weekend away from the home responsibilities and children and work—like summer camp for grown-ups! As stated on one of our PMS in the Woods (often shortened to just “PMS”) t-shirts, “It’s a Spiritual Thing.” This is also a weekend to serve each other. Most of us are wives and mothers, so we spend most of the rest of the year serving our families. We rarely get the luxury of being waited on ourselves. At PMS, however, each woman is only responsible for one meal all weekend, as part of a team that prepares that meal and cleans up afterwards. For the rest of the weekend, the other teams of women prepare and serve the meals, and it feels just like “Mom” would have done!  The reduced responsibility for that one weekend is surprisingly revitalizing and we return home to our families refreshed and full of new stories.  

Ah, the stories! We know each others’ childbirth stories, how we met our husbands, and numerous “first date” and “first time” stories. A very important facet of our weekends is confidentiality—what’s discussed at PMS, stays at PMS. In our 20 years of weekends, breaches of trust are extremely rare. Some of our stories are personal, perhaps involving crises such as impending divorce, a dying parent, or a newly discovered cancer. Thankfully, we haven’t had any deaths in the PMS group yet, but as the years go by and our group ages, it’s sure to happen—we’ll have each other to help us through. Most of the women are over 40, including several retirees, although we get some younger recruits. 

With no TV or internet service and lousy cell phone coverage, the stories and singing are our main form of entertainment. Anna is known especially for her “mini mart” stories, and the story about the dead horse. We joke about when Margie led us on a hike and got us lost for a couple hours in the forest and prairie that makes up Platte River State Park. Donna slept with a butcher knife under her pillow, certain she heard intruders outside. Becky O. taught us drinking songs—in French—as we roasted marshmallows and drank around the campfire. Patsy gave us foot massages, since several of the women hadn’t ever had one. There was the year Judith sang us to sleep in German as we lay bundled in our sleeping bags in our two rows of bunk-beds, like Miss Clavel’s little girls in the Madeline books. Another year Lisa hung Patsy’s bra from the curtain rod so it billowed like a valance overhead!  We’ve had years with infestations of wasps, mice, and Chinese lady bugs. More than once we’ve blown fuses with too many crock pots or space heaters going at once. One year we sat around the campfire and shared goals we wanted to achieve before our next milestone birthday.  

We’ve had lots of fun over the years playing our own versions of Pictionary and charades, in addition to Trivial Pursuit and card games.  If the weather is nice, hiking is a favorite activity, and several enjoy horseback riding and Nerf football. Some drive into nearby Louisville to go antiquing, have lunch at Art Chicks, or watch the Nebraska Cornhusker football game at the local bar. Some women bring knitting or other crafts to work on, books to read, and some new moms plan to catch up on their sleep.

We know who snores and who talks in their sleep; who the night-owls and early birds are. We are always amazed at how many sit-com theme songs, jingles, and show tunes we can remember as we sing around the campfire. Much of this fun has been documented by photos. 

The PMS photo album has recorded changes in hair color, clothing, and weight over the years, as well as who was in attendance, what we look like without make-up, and even if we eat breakfast in flannel jammies or sweats. What we remember are the stories; not the confidential sharing, but the anecdotes, jokes, and moments that are unique to our group, resulting in a nod of recognition when we say “remember when?”   

2006  was our 20^th anniversary and we invited a string band to play for us, watched as one of our coworkers shared her belly-dancing skills, and participated in a beauty products “spa.” We also went around the table and shared the two best things that happened to us during the past year, listening to each other as we snacked and drank coffee, content with each other as the wind and drizzle blew outside. The best quote from that weekend:  when offered raw vegetables for snacking, one camper quipped in mock horror, “Vegetables?! Why would I eat vegetables?! I’m here for chili, chocolate, and beer!”   

As would be expected with any event that’s been going on this long, we’ve had some minor difficulties; occasional hurt feelings, occasional confidentiality breaches, and discussion topics that go awry, notably politics and religion. What we remember, however, are the laughs, the tears, the silliness, the caring, the advice, the hugs, and the friendship.  It still amazes us all that our treasured reunion weekends grew out of our work in the Planning Branch of the Omaha District Army Corps of Engineers. I’ve already put in my reservation for next year! 

Becky Latka (standing far right in photo above) has worked as an Environmental Resource Specialist for the Omaha District Corps of Engineers, Planning Branch since 1991. She works on projects in the Missouri River and Yellowstone River drainages, specializing in Endangered Species, NEPA compliance, fisheries biology, and fish passage. She and her husband have five children, ages 9 to 23.