Your final emotion exercise is on
mindfulness. Mindfulness is the practice of observing without
judgment. Often it occurs in the context of meditation. A
meditator is asked to observe breath and avoid getting caught up in
trains of thought (which is quite difficult to avoid) and to gently
return to an observation of breath whenever the mind wanders without
judging oneself for straying.
However, one can be mindful about anything --- you can
carefully observe any thoughts, behavior, emotions without judgment.
And you can be mindful when you are engaged in normal activities --- it
isn't limited to time of sitting quietly in meditation. Mindfulness is
often a useful first step in understanding oneself better in order to
make conscious and intentional choices about future actions/ thoughts/
emotional reactions.
Daniel Siegal, a leader in the field of the
neurobiology of mindfulness, suggests that a mindfulness practice is
equivalent to offering warm responsive parenting to ourselves and
that it can result in all the same benefits (over time) to our
well-being as having had a secure attachment to our parents in infancy.
The aspects of parenting that give rise to secure
attachment are: 1) being consistently warm and available and 2) holding
reasonable maturity expectations. The first of these involves
responding with kindness, warmth, care, and understanding. The
second of these involves expecting a child to behave in responsible and
mature ways, follow important rules and behave in accordance with
standards of right and wrong.
Over the course of 24 hours, I'd like you to be
mindful --- that is observe the ways, in which you extend to yourself
these two aspects of 'self support' or 'self parenting'. Do you
respond to yourself with kindness, warmth, care, and understanding ---
consistently. And do you hold yourself to standards of behavior in
all aspects of your life that are responsible and mature, given your age
and stage of development? Make note of where you are good at these
things and where you are not. Remember we are being mindful here
--- so the idea is not to judge what you do or don't do. Your job
is only to observe and see what actually happens.
You will turn in a description of what you observe.
Include specific examples. Do not speak in broad generalities
about this ... mindfulness involves slowing down and observing so you
will be able to discuss these aspects of your behavior with details.
Make note of the emotional experience you have when you are able to
provide this kind of self support and when you are not able to.
ALSO, discuss one goal or intention you might set for yourself with
respect to how or where you think it might be useful/ beneficial/
interesting to modify how you provide self support/ parenting.
