For most of us relationships with other significant people (partners, family, friends, roommates, coworkers) are one area that can lead to situations and interactions that activate negative feelings.  For this exercise I want you to identify a relationship with an unresolved issue that is emotionally upsetting to you.  Be sure that you choose a relationship in which things appear at an impasse --- that is you've really reached a place of not knowing what to do/ say.  It can be a relationship that is part of your past or is active and current in your life.

Take about 15 minutes and reflect on the issues and write a brief summary of them from your point of view.  Then take about 15 minutes and attempt to understand the situation from their point of view.  Find at least 2 or 3 ways to understand things as this other person might understand them.  Spend enough time with these alternative points of view that you can  really truly empathize with that person... you are really able to see what they might be seeing and feeling from their point of view (you don't have to see it the same way... just be able to see it from their point of view).  It might even be helpful here to write while pretending to be the other person.

Now look at this situation again and see if things look any differently to you.  Has your perspective shifted in any way?  Your emotions?  Be specific as you describe any shift.

Finally, if you are able to do this . . . consider a behavior/ gesture/ discussion that you might have with this person as a way to move things in the relationship.  What might you do/ say/ try with this person now?  And consider going ahead with the action to see what happens.

Write about all elements of the experience and any insights or stumbling blocks that came your way.